Photo by Dale Neill
1968, I was born in Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea to a German father and Australian mother. They separated when I was very young, after which I stayed with my father. I went to primary school in Port Moresby and from the age of 10 spent the rest of my school years in boarding schools in Germany.
Being away from home for so long makes you lose your roots so once I finished school, I travelled a lot internationally, studied for my commercial pilots licence, worked as a multi-lingual tour guide internationally, dabbled in admin and advertising, before finally taking the plunge and embracing photography on a full time professional level in 2004.
I applied three times to study photography at the local college in Perth, Western Australia but was each time was rejected. I never believed this meant I was not worthy and so spent years and many hours a day pouring over photography books, teaching myself as much as I could (still do!) and exposing many, many rolls of film. I applied one last time in 2005 and finally was accepted to study photography. I’m a firm believer that you are never finished with your education in life no matter what or age or what the subject, but I quit my three year photography degree after just one year, as I found it to be killing my creativity – and costing a small fortune. This is by no means an encouragement to anyone to stop their studies! There are times I wish I’d kept going, but for me it was the right choice at the time and I have no regrets.
From a very young age I always had a passion for visual arts, painted portraits (in black and white) and so photography with black and white film seemed like a natural transition. I still enjoy painting but find it hard to find the time – for now.
There's no formula to my work. It may seem cliche but I always listen to my inner feelings when working. There is no set rule. I remember being told once that you have to have a certain amount of safe shots and the remainder can be a few "artistic" shots. I never understood that - or tried to understand - that piece of advice. Life is always unpredictable and therefore I'm guided by the people that I photograph and the emotions and elements on the day.
I have always photographed with film cameras and then in 2003 I got excited when I bought my first digital camera. That adrenalin rush lasted about 6 months until I realised I'd lost the passion for photography. More and more time was spent in front of a computer screen, and more and more money wasted on technology. So I opened up the darkroom, got my hands wet and from then on the digital cameras have been lost in the back of a cupboard.
I work exclusively with film. When I have to, scanning is a part I don't enjoy as much, but there's a monotony that comes with every job and I accept that. The final result is what keeps me intrigued and my passion alive. Most of my photographs are created with a medium format camera and my gear consists of 35mm, medium format and large format. My lighting kit consists of natural light, a scrim, blu-tack, gaffa tape and a small reflector.
There are many photographers who's work I admire. I don't know if or how they influence me. I guess that's more visible to an outsider than to myself. I enjoy the work of photographers such as Dorothea Lange, Sally Mann, Pamela Hanson, Robert Doisneau and my dear friends in film Carla Coulson and Suzanne Revy. I also find joy in the works of many photographers in the M.I.L.K. books, and many other photography books that weigh down my book shelves. My biggest mentor and wonderful friend over the years is writer/photographer Roger Garwood.
I don’t concentrate on “bodies of work”, as I find they all inter-connect one way or another. Choosing work for an exhibition is tough. It feels as though I’m tearing apart a never-ending love story.
Portraiture is all about the people I photograph. I'm an observer and a director, but when the shutter goes down it's all about them, not me. I like to learn about the people I photograph; their lives, loves, trials and tribulations. This takes time and can’t be achieved in just an hour. I like to spend a few hours, sometimes days with the people I photograph.
Selecting the final images is the selfish part of the process. Here it's all about what I like most or touches me the most.
When buying my first digital camera back in 2003 I was told by a male colleague, that women will never make good photographers as we are too emotional. This is ironic, as in my eyes emotion and sensitivity are the most important ingredients to becoming a successful fine art portrait photographer.
Another important factor is to always remain true to myself, my goals. Being the best I can be as a fine art portrait photographer.
There is no set project on the board. I have many dreams and hope in years to come they will make sense.
Nicole Boenig McGrade
Posts
